It’s Friiiiiiiiiday, Friday! aaaaand it’s almost “F this sh*t o’clock!” How many of you are going to get schwastey tonight? Be honest. How many of you are going to go out and watch your friends get schwastey tonight because you’re trying to stick to Paleo? Herro, we’ve all been there.
I can’t drink tonight because I’m on a whole30 still and I’ll be roadtripping down to LA again to visit my sister. However, I wanted to leave you with a little gem that my Crossfit trainer shared with our gym, CF East Bay: The NorCal Margarita!
Margarita mix (and almost all other cocktails & mixed drinks) are filled with sweeteners, sugar, and other crap. The NorCal Margarita version is actually TECHNICALLY paleo-ish and contains fewer calories and less sugar. Tequila comes from agave plants. Agave is processed, but it will be the paleo-est option for you if you’re going to get your drank on anyway.
What if you don’t want to drink but don’t want your friends to harass you or keep peer pressuring you? Now, contrary to what you might think, I actually hate drinking. I’m not a drinker for 2 simple reasons.
- I hate how alcohol tastes. All of it. Any kind. (I’d rather drink a milkshake)
- I’m lightweight. Get schwastey too fast. My partying nights are very short..
- I know I said 2 reasons…. I’m allergic. I turn bright red from head to chest, sometimes down my arms. NOT a good look. (Asian glow)
Now I usually just tell my friends I’m not drinking tonight. You’d think we’re adult enough to just accept that reason. Well…. sometimes the setting just doesn’t work out that way.
Here are some of my fake-it tricks to get people off my back:
- Order something with club soda, lime and stick a thin red straw in it. The bubbles will make it look like a vodka tonic. (Is that a drink? #iono I’m not a drinker remember?)
- Order a beer, have a friend drink 2 gulps for you, and babysit that thing for the rest of the night.
- Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Ok.. this one gets tricky. Group is taking shots together. They order you one and you HAVE to take it because it’s “my birthday” and they “already ordered it for you”. Well grab a chaser, take the shot into your mouth and spit it into your chaser cup. I know, that’s gross.
- Another shot fake-it for big group settings: When everyone cheers, and they all go for the group super in-sync shot, pour yours out (anywhere: floor, into another empty cup, into your chaser cup, behind your shoulder, into your bff’s cup) make the “ewww” face and sip your chaser. They’ll all be way too distracted to notice.
- Order a beer on tap, ask the bartender to fill it up 1/2 of the way only.
Those are all a little silly. But they’re all things I’ve tried in the past. I work with all males that are a lot older than me. Often times at work events I just don’t want to explain to everyone over and over again that I don’t want to drink. They give me a lot of crap. I don’t want to deal. I hold a half empty beer and don’t hear a peep out of anyone.
Whatever you’re drinking tonight, happy FRIDAY!!!