Garlic Cilantro Cauli-Rice & Paleo Fried Rice

**WARNING! My iPhone is smoking crack so I apologize in advance for the fuzzy & retro looking photos. I haven’t had time to get a replacement. I’m also too lazy to take photos with my nice Nikon camera. #lazywinsagain**

Paleo Catwon - Garlic Cilantro Cauli-Rice

I make cauli-rice mainly to pair with saucey dishes so that it sops up some of the juice from my entree just like my white rice used to do for me. *reminiscing* These saucey dishes I’m referring to are mainly stews and stir-frys.

I know of 2 methods to make cauli-rice:

#1. Shaving the head of cauli with a knife.

#2. In a food processor.

There was a Paleo/Whole Life Challenge-friendly potluck at one of my gyms, Crossfit East Bay, so I made a large pot of Garlic Cilantro Cauli-Rice. I had 2 heads of cauli so I decided to try both methods this time and see which I liked better.

#1. Shaving with a knife:

Paleo Catwon - Garlic Cilantro Cauli-Rice Paleo Catwon - Garlic Cilantro Cauli-Rice Paleo Catwon - Garlic Cilantro Cauli-Rice Paleo Catwon - Garlic Cilantro Cauli-Rice

When you get to the center of the cauli and you have larger chunks, just keep “shaving” it down until you can’t anymore. You’ll end up with some chunky pieces. Simply chop up the chunks until they’re rice-like size.

#2: Food Processor:

Chop cauli into florets, I would chop them even smaller, like 1/2 florets or 1/3 florets. Toss ’em into your food processor. I used a Vitamix on low and didn’t change the settings.

Image Paleo Catwon - Garlic Cilantro Cauli-Rice Paleo Catwon - Garlic Cilantro Cauli-Rice Paleo Catwon - Garlic Cilantro Cauli-Rice

My photos are a tad deceiving bc after I did the above, it super failed. The chunks of whole-floret cauli were too large & clogged my Vitamix. I had to recut the florets into halves or thirds then tried again. ALSO, don’t fill the Vitamix all the way. You’re NOT gonna have a good time. Just fill it up 2 inches high or so, and do 4+ or so rounds.

Shaving With a Knife vs. Food Processor:

Shaving –> chunkier rice (plus a little time consuming to stand there and shave + chop)

Food Processor –> finer rice (still time consuming to chop down pieces, process, scrape out, re-process & scrape x4+, THEN you have to wash your food processor. Ugh.)

To conclude, I’m the kind of lazy that would rather not have to wash another kitchen appliance/item even though it may be faster to use. I’d rather stand there and chop a bowling ball-sized cauli into rice pieces if that means I only have to wash a single knife. I’m a.. special kind of lazy. Plus, I don’t care if my cauli-rice is a little chunkier than normal.

So here’s the recipe:


  • 1 head cauli
  • 1 glove garlic
  • 2 tbsp ghee
  • cilantro (however much ya want)
  • green onions (however much ya want)
  • garlic pow
  • pepper
  • sea salt


  • Chop garlic, cilantro & green onions – set aside
  • Rice your cauli (choose either method above)
  • Heat ghee in large pan
  • Saute your garlic
  • Add riced cauli
  • Add all seasoning
  • Stir & cook until cauli changes color slightly. Should be just minutes bc the rice is so small it’ll cook up quick
  • Toss in green onions & cilantro last so they stay fresh and aren’t overcooked
  • Take 17 photos of cauli-rice at different angles
  • Photo collage
  • Instagram + Facebook
  • Finally you can eat your cold cauli-rice

Paleo Catwon - Garlic Cilantro Cauli-Rice Paleo Catwon - Garlic Cilantro Cauli-Rice Paleo Catwon - Garlic Cilantro Cauli-Rice Paleo Catwon - Garlic Cilantro Cauli-Rice

My version is supes garlicky so if you don’t like garlic, you needs to get your mouth fixed. Some can argue this might taste a little plain in terms of saltiness – but that’s bc it’s rice. I use it to put other food on top of so I don’t worry too much about seasoning my cauli-rice. If it’s your main dish and you’re adding meat or other veggies to it then flavor it up with whatever you have!

I had 40 lbs of leftover cauli-rice so I made a quick Paleo Fried Rice the next night for din.

Chicken sausage, eggs + spinach scrambled in garlic cauli rice. That was FILLING just like fried rice is for me but I wasn’t feeling overly bloated or heavy afterwards.

Paleo Catwon - Garlic Fried Rice Paleo Catwon - Garlic Fried Rice Paleo Catwon - Garlic Fried Rice

@hurlwon wanted my fried rice. I made him watch me eat it.


Hurley found a basketball in the bushes the other day and he went cuh-ray-zay over it. He pretty much dragged me around the park like a piece of string. He yanked me so hard that I, NOT-EVEN-JOKING-OR-EXAGGERATING-ONE-BIT, got whiplash. After doing all the crazy things we do in Crossfit.. I get seriously hurt from my dog spotting a ball 10 feet away. #bulldogprobs



One thought on “Garlic Cilantro Cauli-Rice & Paleo Fried Rice

  1. Pingback: Meal Prep Sundays or Mondays or Whateverdays | Paleo Catwon

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